Everything has changed
by InsertAnUsername
Summary: This story is based around Spencer and Aria's POV. Aria had moved to Iceland for the year leaving behind a Spencer who has done nothing but pine for her. Spencer managed to stay friends with Emily but she was quite busy with her swim team. Hanna has joined a new social circle and Alison had moved away temporarily for family problems. Spencer keeps her feelings for Aria a secret.
1. Don't you ever forget about me

**I'll be trying to get as many chapters out during the next few weeks. :)**

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Today is the day.

The day I've been counting down since she departed on the airplane, taking her off to new adventures. I watched the plane fly over, feeling like a part of me had been taken with her. If a person could act like a safety blanket, she would be mine. And I watched as my safety blanket flew over my head to travel 2,783 miles away.

Now after 12 months of waiting, 365 days of pining and 525601 minutes spent thinking about her..

She was finally coming home.

Everything had changed since she left, Emily and I had remained friends but after Alison's family moved to Georgia for some unexpected family reasons; Emily had spent a lot more time with the swimming team, something seemed off with her ever since. Maybe she was dealing with the same kind of situation I had been left to deal with? I did try to pry about it but she didn't opening up, so the best thing I could do was leave it and let her come to me when she was ready. Hanna had a new make over, new friends and a very busy social life, she did try to involve me in it by inviting me to hang outs and parties, but I was on a whole different level to her new friends. So, eventually we stopped talking. Which left just me and Emily now. Well, a very preoccupied Emily.

I spent most of my spare time after school in my room, with a book in my hand. I came quite accustomed to it, as I got lost most nights in a good story. Anything to distract me from reality. Some days - when Aria wasn't busy with her new European life - she would send a message on Facebook to keep me updated on everything. These were my favorite nights that I cherished dearly, each message Aria sent to me, I would imagine the activities that she had been doing, a smile would creep over my face, knowing that the smaller brunette was having a great time. She did pry on what it's like back home, but I didn't tell her everything, she worried way too much about me. She may be the smaller version, but she was the version that kept me grounded. The better version. So I half lied, not wanting her to worry about everything - Emily and Hanna were fine, I mean to some degree they were. And we all stayed best friends, like nothing could ever break the circle we created. And me? I was fine, studying hard and keeping myself busy. In reality, I spent my days pining as the loneliness mulled over me every night, which by the way, became a great friend to me. But, I missed my best friend. And she was off living her life in a far away European city.

A week ago, I had a message pop up from the new found Icelander herself telling me she wanted to tell me something important. Her mother and father had made plans to come back home to Rosewood as Iceland wasn't really working out for them. Aria was gutted to say the least, she had made friends there and had become settled. I, on the other hand, felt like everything was finally becoming back together. I could have some sense of normality back in my life.

I knew Emily had been busy that night hanging out with some girls from the swim club, so I had waited to tell her at school the next day, but she spent the day studying hard, followed by spending some quality time with her parents. Half of me wanted to message Hanna, but I felt too nervous, I hadn't spoken to the blonde girl properly now for months. It's weird isn't it? How you can be best friends with someone for years, then one day comes and you're struggling to find the confidence to send them a single text.

Now it lead till tonight, where I find myself counting down the hours for the arrival of my smaller partner in crime.

I bit down on my lip, knowing the half lies that I had previously told Aria were going to bite back on me. In my defense; I had a good reason for them. But now I'm dreading what Aria was going to say when she comes back and sees the reality that I've been living with. She may be little, but god, she can be quite scary, like an angry Chihuahua that would bite at your ankles.

Aria's flight was scheduled to be completed by 9pm so that meant no time to hang out but she did promise to send me a quick message when she arrived. We made plans of meeting up tomorrow after she had a day of resting and settling in. I could wait another 1080 minutes to see her again, considering she wasn't meant to be coming home to begin with. Ella and Byron for some reason just wanted a better life for Aria and Mike, so they decided to relocate to Iceland where Byron had got a new teaching job. The day Aria had told us; I wanted so badly to go curse her parents out due to the fact they were taking away the only thing in my life that kept me sane.

And now here I am, laying on my bed and looking at the ceiling, with a biggest grin on my face. Thank you Ella and Byron, for making the decision to come back.

9pm had rolled around and I won't deny that the OCD in me had taken over by this point. I had watched the seconds count down, waiting - to what felt like to me - patiently. By 9:01, I was pacing around my bed room, staring at my phone. By 9:05, my phone lit up with a notification, I jumped over to the bed and picked it up, smiling. To see that Melissa had sent me a notification to join a Rosewood Facebook group. Seriously, M? Out of all the times to do this. I tossed the phone back on the bed in frustration and walked over to the desk where I had put my coffee and tried to think logically about this.

Of course the Montgomery's would be doing check outs by now, but Aria only had to send a quick text. God damn it, Ar. It's 9:10, where are you?

My phone lit up, buzzing insanely against the bed sheets. I ran over, seeing Aria's name across the screen saver. A sudden rush of nerves washed over me as I picked up the phone and pressed the answer button.

"I know I said I would message you at 9, but my mother got into a deep conversation with me. I hope you haven't been worrying, I know what you're like Spencer." Aria spoke over the phone. Her voice had taken me by surprise. She still sounded like Aria, but with a tint of European in there. I guess I imagined over the year that she would sound completely differently, but she still sounded so sweet. Fuck, I've missed the sound of her.

"Hello to you, too. And no, it's fine. I haven't been too out of my mind." I replied, half lying again. Given it another 10 minutes of waiting around for her, I would of filed a missing person report into Rosewood police.

Silence had taken over the phone, was the connection playing up on the other end? I glanced at my phone, looking at the full signal.

"Ar? Did you go?" I asked, listening out for any noise on the other end.

"No, no. I'm here, it's so weird hearing you again" she softly spoke out.

"I know, it's the same with you too" I admitted, closing my eyes, welcoming the soothing feeling that I haven't felt now for a year.

"Are we still on for tomorrow?" She asked, ever so sweetly.

"Like I would skip seeing my tiny friend?" I teased, there was a slight giggle on the other end of the phone, to which my face automatically responded with a smile.

"See you tomorrow, Spence. Try getting some sleep." she responded. The words "see you tomorrow" seemed so foreign to me now. It felt so surreal knowing that I would be seeing my best friend again, I've lost count how many times I day dreamed about this day.

"Oh, Ar? Welcome back. I've missed you."


	2. The nicest thing

I managed to sleep peacefully that night, which was quite odd as I normally pass out between 2am to 4am most nights. I had woke up the next morning feeling fresher than I have for the last few weeks. I played some music as I prepared for the day, dancing around to the beat and singing along to " _Anywhere_ " by Passenger in the shower. I threw on some skinny jeans and a casual white t-shirt and glimpsed at myself in the stand up mirror. Due to the lack of sleep, I've managed to gain a new look of bags underneath my eyes, but on the positive side: I didn't look miserable for once.

My mother peeked through the crack of the door, startling me from the kind of modelling pose I did in the mirror after I applied make up to my face. I had to make sure that I looked half decent for the day, especially for meeting up with Aria later on.

"Hey, honey. You look more lively today" she observed, arching an eye brow at me. I looked at her with a glance of concern; what did I appear to be like to others around me? I knew I had felt sad, but I didn't think I showed it to the outside world.

"Aria's home today so I'll probably be back late, if that's okay?" I replied, not like it mattered much any way considering my parents didn't seem fazed about my whereabouts any other time. They were too caught up in their work loads to even notice.

She nodded in response, letting out a brief smile as she walked away from the door. She shouted up the stairs that "breakfast and coffee will be ready soon" to every one in the house hold.

Coffee was one of the main meals of the day for the Hastings family. Breakfast was just a side order.

I pushed all my books in my bag and grabbed my car keys, running down the stairs and grabbed a "to go" coffee that was waiting for me on the breakfast table. My mother knew me too well some times. I gave her a quick smile and thanked her, before walking out to my Toyota.

It wasn't a far drive from my house to school, so I managed to make it there pretty early as per usual. Punctuality had always been one of my proud achievements, I even gave the teachers a run for their money as I manage to get to each class earlier than they did.

The morning classes ran pretty smoothly, this year's work load didn't seem too much pressure. I'd managed to get most of the essays done within the first week that the teachers had handed them out, which for some reason they were never shocked about. Clearly Melissa had set the bar quite high when she attended here; setting a perfect example for the Hastings family.

At lunch, I managed to catch Emily who was sitting with a few people from the swim team. She looked in her element and quite content - which was a good thing. But I missed having her around as much, we use to have a tradition of spending our Saturday nights together. That tradition started to dwindle out a few weeks ago, but we always remained in contact. Plus, her swim team didn't seem to mind me hanging around either, which I was thankful for.

"Hey Em!" I shouted, cutting through the crowds of students to get to her table.

"Hey" She replied, moving over so I could sit down next to her. I smiled in response and took out the food I just brought.

"So, guess what?" I said excitedly, I'm pretty sure I could beat the excitement of a kid on Christmas day at this point.

"You got another A+ for next years paper?" She mocked, side smirking at me. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Aria flew back last night into Rosewood. She's back, Em!" I shouted, bursting into complete happiness.

"Wait, why am I only finding out about this now?" Emily asked frustrated.

"You were busy every time I tried to tell you!" I replied defensively "Come hang out tonight?" I begged. I wanted all of us to come together for Aria's sake and for the fact I've told her everything was normal. Oops. Emily nodded at me, her facial expression changing from a frown to a smile, excitedly talking about tonight's plans; if we could watch movies and bring snacks.

 _This, this feels like old times._ All I need now is to get Hanna involved; that's if she wasn't too busy in her new super popular life. Maybe we could drag her away from Mona for a little while. Well, I certainly had no luck, I'm pretty sure the popular group thinks I'm strange - so this means one thing: Emily.

"Hey, Emily" I asked, interrupting the conversation about tonight "I need to ask a favor. Is there any chance you can ask Hanna if she wants to come, too?" I knew Emily and Hanna still spoke sometimes, I mean they were both very popular people in school. So if any one could get Hanna on board, it would be Emily.

"Sure, Spencer. I'll text her now" she replied, grabbing her phone and typed out words on the screen.

Emily confirmed that Hanna would be there tonight and she too was excited for seeing the smaller brunette. Looks like tonight would go to plan after all, I smiled to myself.

A part of me was dreading tonight because of the things I had told Aria when she was away; about everything being normal back here in Rosewood, I hope she wouldn't be too mad at me when I tell her the truth. I tapped my fingers against the court yard bench, pondering on how I would explain myself and how Aria would react to it. I wouldn't want to piss her off on her first night back here.

Emily and I made plans to meet up at Aria's afterwards, she wanted to pick up a present and some snacks, she had also arranged with Hanna that she would pick her up on the way back from the mall.

I passed by the florist after school, scanning around the shop at the mixture of flowers. Sure, some of the flowers that came into view seemed beautiful, but I needed it to be perfect; I needed it to be something outstandingly beautiful. I picked up some white and purple lilies and studied the shop further, looking for a single flower just to finish the detail. A bunch of roses stood by the counter, with different colored petals. I picked up the purple rose and examined it. Perfect.

The florist shop keeper approached the counter, examining the flowers in my hand and smiled softly at me. I passed her the flowers and she began to work on them, wrapping them up in a lilac colored wrapper.

"Very interesting choice of flowers that you've chosen - for a partner?" the woman asked, finishing off the rest of the wrapping. She handed me a note card so I could write down a message to put in within the bouquet. I'm currently trying to hide the sudden blush at the observation, wanting nothing more than these flowers to be for a partner, but truth be told that would never happen. As much as I hoped for me and Aria to be together romantically; she only seemed to be interested in the opposite sex. I would never have a chance to win her heart, so best friend status would have to be good enough for me.

"Uh, unfortunately not. These are beautiful, thank you for everything" I replied, hurrying to finish the note so I could make an escape from the shop, my cheeks were burning and I had become quite flustered thinking about Aria as my girlfriend. I payed the shop keeper and ran out to my car, if any one could see me right now it would look like I've just robbed my florist and making an escape. I quickly started up the engine and made my way to my best friend's house.

I've drove past this location so many times over the last year, just to feel a bit of Aria around but it always felt weird. But today, it felt more welcoming. Like a homely feeling. I walked up the steps to the house, knocking on the the door and waited, patiently. The door slowly creaked open and there she stood.

Aria.

My best friend.

The girl I've spent the whole year missing. Pining for.

There she stood back in her old door way, like nothing it had change except the fact she looked a little taller and with a few streaks of red in her hair. She looked a lot more punk than I last remembered, but she was still Aria. Aria who was now currently wearing my most favorite thing: a smile that lit up her hazel eyes.

 _Thud, thud, thud, thud._ My heart began pounding against my chest, feeling like it was about to burst out of my skin.

Like it couldn't handle the sight of the beauty in front of me.

You and I both, heart. You and I both.

At this point my actions completely took over my mind, I stood forward and wrapped the girl up in my arms, bringing her feet off the ground. Clutching on so tightly, but trying not to break her at the same time as I squeezed. Aria wiggled in my grip, squealing happily. If the term happiness could be explained in any way: this would be it. I would re-write every thesaurus and made sure that Aria was the definition of the term happiness.

"Okay, okay, S. As much as I've missed you, please can you put me down." Aria giggled, finally finding the floor again with her feet.

"Sorry Ar, you have no idea how much I've missed you" I said, letting go of my grip and looked down at her, suddenly realizing that I had dropped the bouquet of flowers that I had previously brought. I picked them up from the ground and held them out for her, she studied the flowers, her cheeks raising as a grin formed on her face.

"They are so lovely, thank you!" She beamed, bringing up the flowers to the tip of her nose and inhaled the flowery smell. I stood there, silently thanking the florist in my head for helping me achieve such sweet sight of Aria looking happy. Maybe I'll leave her a thank you note later.

She held the door and stood back, letting me past. She guided us through to the kitchen where she could re-arrange the flowers into a vase, I flickered my eyes throughout the house, noticing all the boxes that still hadn't been put away. It was eerily quiet in here too, I was half expecting Ella to come out and speak but she was no where in sight. Byron and Mike were no where to be seen, either.

"So, where are your family?" I asked, not really thinking too much into it. They could of popped out for a meal leaving Aria to have her friends over, it happened quite a lot before she moved. But something in Aria's composure changed; she let out of a sigh and twisted her body to face me.

"Is it okay if we don't speak about this just for the time being?" she asked softly. I nodded, watching the pain enter her hazel eyes. I felt an ache in my heart, if I could do anything; it would be to make sure I could wrap the smaller brunette up and keep her away from any pain. I was about to walk over to her to give her another hug, but the door knocked. She gave me a reassuring smile as she walked past me and opened the door to the two squealing girls.

After hugs and gifts exchange had been all done, the three girls walked into the kitchen, smiling and talking. I really had hoped that I could of spoken to Aria before the other two arrived to avoid any awkward conversations if any one slipped up about the last year but now I was screwed. Please for the love of God, can no one mess this up.

We all sat inside Aria's room listening to Aria tell the story of Iceland: how beautiful the city of Reykjavik was, especially at night time with the Aurora lights glowing in the sky. I closed my eyes, imagining the sight of the night sky, it was one of my bucket list things to do. To get one of them little igloo's, laying on the bed and staring up at the sky, of course in my imagination - Aria was laying next to me, our bodies tangled. My eyes re-opened when Aria mentioned about the people she had met over there, the students were friendly when she started school and she adjusted to the new life pretty quickly.

"Did you meet any boys? I heard European boys are quite cute" Hanna asked, curiously. I'm watching Aria intently now, waiting for the response but she just picked up a chip and shook her head coolly. Hanna grunted in response - clearly not happy with the response but I, on the other hand, if I could express myself freely in this conversation; it would be with the biggest smile. It was a sense of relief knowing that some one hadn't stolen that sweet heart of hers yet, not that I had any fighting chance, but the universe works in a funny way. Hopefully it would work in my favor one day. I looked up at the ceiling and prayed: _if there was a God up there, please give me that chance._ Okay, what the fuck am I doing? Praying to a ceiling was far from normal, no wonder Hanna's new popular friends thought I was strange.

A cough cleared the room and my eyes darted from the ceiling to the other three girls, who were now watching me with confused facial expressions. I shrugged, leaning over to grab some chips. Aria shook her head in my direction, smiling.

"So, what's new with you guys? What have I missed? Apart from the fact Hanna looks even more glamorous." Aria asked the other two girls, my throat suddenly becoming dry from nerves. Here comes the conversation I had been dreading.

"Well, thank you for the compliment. I've met a new bunch of people at School and also kind of getting it on with Sean" Hanna smirked, Aria shot an approval look to Hanna and nodded.

"What about you, Emily?" Aria turned her attention to the tanned girl.

"I've been practicing on my swimming a lot and tend to hang out with the girls from there, it's going pretty well" Emily shyly smiled.

That wasn't so bad after all, no one mentioned how we came apart over the year. Maybe I could save this after all.

"It's great that you all have made new friends and managed to stay best friends. I've missed times like this, especially the sleep overs. I was sad when it dawned on me that I wouldn't be doing this any more when I moved." Aria admitted, glumly.

Emily and Hanna exchanged a look of confusion to each other, which Aria immediately picked up on. And I shifted awkwardly on the bed, my stomach doing somersaults.

"What?" Aria asked confused.

"Um, we actually haven't hanged out properly in a while, well all three of us anyway" Hanna announced. Aria glanced over to me, eye brows now arched up at me. I could see the shocked expression appear on her face.

"Oh, right. Well I'm glad we are all here now, at least." Aria half smiled, her eyes not leaving mine, I could see her trying to process all the previous conversations we had whilst she was in Iceland.

The other girls smiled in response, they appeared to be relaxed. Hanna and Emily began to bicker like a married couple over what film we were going to watch - what film I had to endure, like old times sake. I sighed, grabbing some more snacks and getting comfortable on the bed, watching the pair argue. These were the times I wished never changed.

Aria jumped on the bed beside me, propping up a pillow against my side. This was a normal Aria thing to do; using my tallness as a leaning post. I didn't mind though, I missed the closeness. This is my safety blanket. My very adorable safety blanket.

"This doesn't mean we aren't talking about this tomorrow, Spencer." I heard Aria mumble as she got comfortable. I sighed, she meant it too, for a small person she was very stubborn. I put some weight against Aria and leaned my head on top of hers, getting comfortable enough to endure 194 minutes of the Titanic that finally Emily and Hanna had finally agreed to; a film which I've watched now for what felt like the millionth time. I didn't mind though, _give me Rose letting go of Jack any day because this was the feeling of contentment that I've been pining for all year._


	3. Hate to see your heart break

**This is Aria's POV, I hope you enjoy. I'll try get the next chapter out within the next few days. :)**

 **Chapter named after Paramore - Hate To See Your Heart Break**

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I felt a nudge on my arm, I slowly opened my eyes to see Emily standing beside the bed looking at me. I leaned up to have a look around at my surroundings, completely in a daze, noticing Hanna packing away the DVD and cleaning the mess that we created. I smiled, sinking in that this wasn't a dream. I was actually back home. I turned my head to the side of me, looking at the figure who had also fell asleep, she looked so peaceful.

"We're just going to head out now" Emily whispered, trying not to wake the sleeping Spencer beside me. I nodded, walking out of the room to escort them both out. We parted ways after the goodnight hugs and I closed the door behind me. I glanced at the hallway hooks, acknowledging that my mother had arrived back but I couldn't hear any noise at all on the lower part of the house. She probably went straight to bed, after all the last few days had been really stressful for her.

I made my way back to my room, tip toeing around to my wardrobe to pick out some shorts and vest. I wasn't going to wake up Spencer from the sleeping slumber, as soon as she arrived earlier I could see that she hadn't been sleeping well. I flicked off the lights to the room and crawled into the warm sheets, listening to heavy breaths beside me. I welcomed the comfortable feeling.

My world had been so chaotic the last few weeks with everything falling apart, I tried so hard to avoid it but how can I when my mother is literally breaking with each day that passes? _No, we aren't thinking about this right now, brain._ Just let me enjoy the simplicity of the current state of my surroundings.

So I lay there, just listening to the sounds of Spencer inhale and exhale deep breaths, letting the tiredness summon me and take me far away to the land of dreams.

* * *

"Aria. Aria. Aria. Ariiiiiiiiiiia"

 _Go away, voice. Let me sleep._

"Ar. Ar. Ar. Ar. Aria!"

 _Please let me sleep, I'm tired._

My body began to shake, making my eyes snap open. Spencer's leaning over me, smiling innocently. My initial frustration swept away as I laid here watching her, my eyes fixated with hers. I've never noticed the mixture of brown colors in each iris. I could feel myself getting lost in the stare.

"It's about time you've woken up" she scoffs, playfully.

"It's a good thing you're _you_ , I was about to plot your murder" I mumbled, pulling out of the stare I was previously in, looking away from the girl leaning over me and glancing at the time. I groaned at the sudden realization that it was early. Who even wakes up at 7am?

"I thought I'd say goodbye before I left for school" Spencer replied to my groan. Oh right, school. I somehow forgot that was a thing - I had another week till I started back at Rosewood High. Spencer got out of the bed sheets, a cold draft of air hit my body - I'm definitely not leaving these warm bed sheets just yet - a part of me wanting to beg Spencer to come back to bed to provide some more of a heat source. It wouldn't of worked though - she's so anal about education. Well, it's Spencer. She's anal about _everything._

"So what really happened when I was away?" I asked, watching her put her shoes on. But she jumped, becoming quite startled from the question. There was something seriously going on here.

"A lot happened over the year, Ar. Hanna got her new make over with Mona, next day they came into school and then the popularity thing happened. Emily seemed quite distance after Alison left, so she spent more time with the swim team, which I'm glad about. It's nice seeing them both happy." She shrugged, like it was nothing important. But that was far from the story, I could see it in her eyes.

"And what have _you_ been doing?" I directly asked her, watching her body tense up.

"Lot's of things. Listen, Ar, I've gotta go, I'll call you later" She mumbled, avoiding eye contact with me and shuffled out of the room. I could tell she was trying to avoid the conversation, but she wouldn't win this battle; I'll just call one of the other girls after school to ask them instead.

Every day of the year that I spent in Iceland was spent worrying about Spencer, she would never know that though. We had grown quite close since the first day we met so I dreaded the day I had to part from her. I hoped that the girls would look after her, she might be a Hastings and that comes with tough skin but I saw the vulnerability of the girl inside. It use to comfort me when Spencer would message me about everything being the same in Rosewood but after last nights conversation it was far from the story she had told me. Why would she lie?

Great, so not only have I got family drama, my best friend was also keeping things from me. _Welcome back to Rosewood, Aria. Ugh._

I spent most of my morning lounging around in bed with a coffee by my side and my laptop in front of me, looking at the pictures that I took in Iceland. I did miss it there; I missed the people that I had met and I missed the time where things wasn't complicated and everyone in my family were happy. It breaks my heart seeing the pictures of my parents together, smiling and looking like nothing could break down their marriage. Tough and indestructible. Well, that was far from the truth.

"Morning sweetheart" I heard the weak voice from the door, I looked up, forcing a slight smile at my mother. The last few weeks has took it's toll on her, she was a broken down version of the Ella that I've always known. The dark circles around her eyes meant she wasn't sleeping well and the puffy red eyes indicating that she must of spent another night crying. My parents never told us about what the real reason for why their marriage was breaking apart, just tried to reassure us that they needed time to sort their selves out. Mike had took it pretty bad, he wanted to spend time away so he arranged to spend time with family just outside of Rosewood for the week so it could settle down and my dad booked a hotel near by, waiting for the storm to pass over and giving my mother some time alone.

It was breaking my heart seeing her like this. I felt so useless.

"Hey, do you want to grab some breakfast?" I asked, hopeful.

"I would love to, but our living room needs sorting. I want to spend the day moving out of the boxes, how about you go out and pick us some up?" she replied, I knew the real reason was that she didn't want to be seen in the state she was in, she was a very head strong lady and she didn't want to be seen as weak to the community. I nodded, accepting the fact this was as good as it was going to get.

I finally left the warm sheets that had been draped over me all morning, instantly starting to miss the warmth. I should be use to the cold now especially after living in Iceland for a year but I unfortunately was one of them people who was always cold. I took a shower and threw on some black leggings, a long grey band t-shirt and a leather jacket. After I finished applying the make up to my face and messing up my multicolored brown and red hair, I honestly looked like I belonged in a rock band. If Hanna was here right now she would be going crazy to give me a new make over.

I decided to walk today around Rosewood, it was a long time since I checked out the town. I felt like a foreigner exploring a new city, taking in everything around me; from the characteristics of the buildings to the old structured lamp posts that were molded into the pavements. Reykjavik was a whole different world to Rosewood - beautiful, yes, especially with the snowy mountains on the outskirt of the city - but Rosewood would always have the keys to my heart. This would always be my home.

I payed for the take away breakfast and thanked the lady behind the counter and walked back outside. I took one more glance around the small town, everything still looked the same as my memories before I left which I was grateful for; everything was changing in my life, so at least there was something familiar I could hold on to.

The morning lead to afternoon, my mother and I spent the day hard at work in our old home. We put away each object from the boxes and adjusted the furniture; everything in the same position as before, it looked like we didn't even pack up for Europe and had stayed here for the last year instead. At least it made my mom happy, it had been the first day I've seen an actual sincere smile on her face. And that was enough to make me feel happy.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching films on the sofa, both of us curled up underneath blankets. My parents had introduced us to the era of black and white films and I've had such a huge amount of love for them ever since - _"Casablanca"_ being one of my all time favorites. It was a peaceful afternoon - something that my mother had needed. Her mood had improved since we finished moving back in, she genuinely looked cheerful. We both agreed that tonight we would celebrate the pleasant afternoon by picking up a Chinese, I offered to go and be the pick up lady as my mother looked quite exhausted.

I'd managed to drive all the way to the parking lot of the restaurant before I realized that I came out without my purse. A sigh escaped my mouth, dawning on me that I would now have to make two trips. It was a good job that everything wasn't too far away from each other, these were the times I'm thankful for Rosewood being a small town. I pictured my mother's face on the drive back home - I bet she would be waiting by the door with the purse I had left behind, smirking. I had moments of being quite ditsy sometimes.

After turning off the ignition to the car, I close the door behind me and walked up the steps to the house, hearing raised voices as I approached. Panic had alarmed my body, I pushed open the door to the house and ran inside. My legs suddenly came to a halt and I listened in to the argument.

"You fucking cheated on me, Byron! How could you expect things to go back to normal?" She screamed.

"Please, Ella. It was a mistake. Think of the kids!" he argued back, his voice pleading.

"Did you think about their feelings when you decided to ruin our marriage?" she growled back in return.

I couldn't listen any more, my heart was becoming too heavy in my chest.

I had to get away.

I knew things were bad, but not like this. I couldn't understand why my father would cheat on the woman he's spent his life with?

I grabbed my purse from the hallway table and ran out of the house to jump back in the car with no fixed destination in my mind - so I just drove.

I drove around the neighborhood now for an hour, I didn't know where to go. I mean, I could of asked the girls if they wasn't busy, but I didn't want to burden this on them. Especially with how proud of a woman my mother was. Our moms all speak to each other so the last thing I wanted was them to seek out to help her - it was her business to tell, not mine. Besides, Spencer was acting weird around me.

I saw a sign saying "Bar and Grill" - perfect. I needed something to settle the sickly feeling in my stomach. I pulled up the car, checking that I still had the fake ID that I purchased in Iceland; I remembered feeling pretty bad ass when I brought it. I didn't really use it for what most people would use it for, mine was used for getting in to see certified restrictive movies in the movie theaters. Most of the people that I hanged out with didn't have this problem, but there are some serious disadvantages for being a tiny person.

I entered the bar and observed the room, there were very little people here and there was some quiet music filling the room. The place itself wasn't that brightly lit, but I didn't mind - as there was an over cast of dark emotions within my house hold. I propped myself up on the bar stool and waited for a bartender to come. Five minutes had passed by this rate and still no service, I could see the bartender at the other side of the bar talking to another customer.

"Hey!" I shouted, trying to get the attention of the guy. Success. The bartender walked down to the bar where I was sat and took my order for a burger and coke. I secretly hated myself for bringing out my car - so now I couldn't of had something alcoholic to suppress the unwanted feelings of anger. I began to process the events leading up to today, trying to understand why my dad would cheat. I imagined the heart break that my mother was going through, my mind was now replaying the nights where I watched her break down in Iceland.

"Hi, are you alright?" the voice broke me from my thoughts, I turned to face the man who was sat two stools away from me, a half smile appeared on his face. I took in the tiny details about him; the eyes of concern and the shaggy hair cut on top of his head. He was quite charming to look at.

"Yeah, I'm okay thank you. Just been a very long night." I spoke out, smiling back at him.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better, I'm Ezra" He smiled, leaning over to put his hand out, I put mine out too to shake his hand.

"Aria" I replied back, polite-fully returning back the smile. Ezra switched seats and was now sitting on the one beside me.

"So Aria, I noticed that you have somewhat mixture of accents. Are you from around here?" He asked.

"I've actually just moved back from Iceland" I replied, taking a sip of my drink. He nodded, thoughtfully.

"Great country, there's something about Europe that I love" He spoke with a smile on his face.

"So what do you do? College?" I asked.

"Actually, just graduated. I'm now a teacher." He replied, smiling proudly.

"Very interesting, what class?" I pried, wanting to know more of the mysterious man in front of me.

"I study English" He responded "what about you?"

"I'm hoping to major in English, actually. I also have a passion for writing" I replied, shyly.

"Wow, a writer huh?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

We spent the next few hours speaking to each other, it actually felt quite nice considering my night prior to the bar. He was just what I needed to take my mind off things. It was pleasant having someone to talk to about similar interests; about books and authors.

We got on pretty well..

So well that we ended up making out in the bathroom of the bar, with me propped on the sink with my hands wrapped around his neck and his body stood in between my legs, his arms supporting around my waist. This was the kind of distraction I needed in my life right now. _Thank you, Ezra._


	4. Goodnight Moon

**I had two ideas of how to play this next chapter, but I decided for this one.**

 **Inspired by Go Radio - Goodnight Moon.**

* * *

My head is a complete mess.

What was I doing?

It was completely unlike me to kiss random men in bars, even though Ezra had been the perfect gentleman - I shouldn't of done this. I ended up pushing him away and telling him I couldn't do this, he was so sweet and spent the next half hour reassuring me that it was fine but I felt far too guilty for leading him on. He walked me to the car, gave me a hug and passed me his number so I could keep in touch. I took the number from him but I knew deep down that I wouldn't be using it. It wouldn't be fair on him if I allowed him to be a part of my chaotic life.

I sat in the car deciding what to do next; I didn't want to go home just yet - the whole thought scared me to death. My whole family system was breaking apart and after tonight I wouldn't blame my mother if she decided that enough was enough. No one in the whole entire world deserved to be cheated on and ripped apart. How could I look up to the man that was once the perfect role model the same way again? My poor mother having to deal with a situation that was completely out of her hands - knowing that the man she spent her life with just jumped so easily in to bed with another. No one deserves that.

The feelings I had suppressed over the last few weeks were finally fighting back to rise to the surface. I finally admitted defeat and let the hidden emotions take full control of me.

Now here I am at 11 o clock at night bawling my eyes out on a random car park. I didn't know what to do - I needed some kind of comfort. Someone just to tell me that everything would be okay. There was only one person in the world who would make me feel protected but she was acting strange around me.

But I needed her.

After I started up the car, I turned out of the car park and drove straight to the girl who would keep me safe.

* * *

Most people would be living the rock and roll life style on a Friday night, but not me. Here I am googling random facts about historical figures with a cup of coffee in my hand. All of my essays had been completed by 6 o clock, which was great because now I had this spare time to educate myself on history. Who would of thought that Hitler use to love Snow White? Not me, that's for sure. I was going to call Aria to see if she wanted to hang out but I felt too nervous. She tried to pry the truth from me this morning but I couldn't bring myself to do it; she seemed like she had a lot on her plate when I asked her about her family, I didn't want her to worry even further about me.

Last night had been truly amazing though; I got to hang out again with the three people that I held close to my heart - even though there had been distance between us all in the last year, that didn't matter now. At school today; Hanna, Emily and I had sat together for lunch - we hadn't done that for a while until today. And I also accidentally fell asleep at Aria's, which I'm entirely grateful for because there's nothing better than waking up next to the girl you've been missing all year.

I had no idea what I was going to do with the feelings that I had for Aria; it's not like I can express them freely. For starters I'm not even out to my parents or friends and secondly I couldn't just confess my feelings for her; I didn't want to lose her and I didn't want her to back away from our friendship. Not that I think Aria would do that - she had a heart of gold - but I still worry.

As Albert Einstein had once said: _"Problems cannot be solved with the same mind set that created them"_ , I couldn't argue with a man with the intelligence that he had. I made a mental plan of trying to move on and ignore the feelings that I had for her. That plan was counteracted a few seconds after, when my mind had slipped into thinking about Aria again. Sorry, Albert, you may have a gift of being a genius, but Aria had the gift of stealing my thoughts - she would always win.

Glancing at the empty contexts of the cup in my hand, I decided that it was time for another coffee. I left the computer desk and made it downstairs to the kitchen area and switched on the coffee machine. There were some lights flashing through the windows - weird, I hadn't been expecting any one to be coming over tonight and my parents were away for the night for some social event. Who would be pulling up at 11:15 at night? I peaked through the blinds of the back door and registered in my head who the car belong to. Why was Aria here? not that I minded, but there had been no communication prior to her coming over. I opened the door and stood there, nervously tapping my fingers against the door frame.

She came into the view of the back door light and I could see clearly the girl in front of me; my heart shattering at the sight of her as my eyes wondered to her face where she had been crying.

"Aria?" I asked, concerned. She didn't speak, she just walked towards me and threw her arms around my waist, I could feel her body shake with each cry. I wrapped my arms around her and kept her tightly close to me, trying my hardest to keep her safe. She pulled away from the embrace and looked up at me, the tears were streaming down her face, the eye make up also leaving trails down to her jaw. The muscles of my heart tightening in my chest as I watched the most sweetest gift to ever walk this earth break down in front of me.

"I'm sorry for just turning up" she spoke softly, bringing up the sleeve of her jacket to wipe the tears away.

"Aria, don't apologize. You can come to me whenever." I replied, taking her hand and leading her to the living room. I ran over to the kitchen counter and poured a cup of coffee for her then I walked over to the sofa where she was sat looking down at her fingers on her lap. I've never seen this side of Aria before - the fragile and vulnerability of her was breaking my heart.

"Spencer, I don't know what to do" she spoke out ever so softly.

"What's happened?" I asked, putting my hand in her lap to interlock my fingers with hers.

"My parents. My mom-" she mumbled "my mom is heart broken because of my dad, he's cheated on her." the tears ran freely down her face again, she was shrieking out with each cry. I scooted closer to her and wrapped my one arm around her shoulder, laying my head on top of hers.

"I'm sorry, Ar." I whispered.

"It's not just that though. After I found out about the cheating.. I went to a bar and ended up kissing some guy I didn't know. My head is a mess, Spencer" she whimpered. My body froze up at the confession, trying to block out the images of some man kissing the lips that I longed to kiss. _Control yourself, emotions. This isn't the right time to be jealous - she isn't even my girlfriend. So stop it._

"It's going to be okay, I will figure it out. Hey, do you want to stay here tonight?" I asked, she nodded slowly in response. I stood up and took her hand, leading her to the bedroom. I had an idea of what I could do to attempt to cheer up her: movies and my over sized hoodies that I kept especially for her. I raided my wardrobe to find my field hockey hoodie and some shorts for her to wear and handed them to her, she smiled weakly back at me then disappeared into the bathroom. I threw on a t-shirt and some shorts then walked over to my dvd collection trying to find the only black and white film that I owned - due to Aria's request. She had once spent the whole day trying to convince us to watch this particular black and white movie - so I went out to buy it that same day because of the pure love that glistened in her eyes when she told us about it.

She walked back in the room and jumped on my bed, crawling underneath the sheets. I turned round from the television to face her and held up the DVD case.

"Casablanca?" I asked, hopeful. And it was a winner: Aria's saddened facial expression changed into an excited smile. A smile she wore perfectly.

The movie started up on the television and I climbed underneath the sheets next to Aria. I propped myself up against the head board behind us thinking she would of wanted to use me as a leaning post like she normally does, but tonight was different - she pulled me back down to the bed. My heart skipped a beat as she lifted my arm up to shuffle closer to my body. She laid her head on my chest and wrapped an arm over my stomach - I hope she didn't hear the increase of my heart rapidly beating in my chest. I've only ever imagined this happening in my thoughts or dreams; the dreams didn't compare to the reality though. Reality was far better.

We laid there for hours, the only movements were our bodies rising up and down as we inhaled and exhaled air but we stayed connected in the same position. Not one word was spoken during the movie, in fact I'm pretty sure Aria had fell asleep as her breathing pattern had changed. I leaned over to turn off the light to the room and got back into the position that I was previously in. I wasn't trying to take advantage of the situation but I was cherishing every second of Aria being close to me.

If I could stop time whenever I wanted - I would for this exact moment and I would stay here forever.

"Goodnight sweet girl." I whispered, leaving a gentle kiss on the top of her head.


	5. A journey to the sunset

**My apologies if there is any mistakes in this one. I'll be checking it over again later.**

 **Song for this chapter (decided to stay with the theme) Beyonce - Halo**

* * *

I managed to wake up a few hours before Aria; it was hard to leave the bed at first especially with the fact we were curled up around each other, my arm held around her. I had to fight every part of me that urged to stay but I got up in the end, slipping out of the sheets without waking her. I spent the remainder of last night brainstorming ideas up in my head; ideas of how to cheer up Aria.I needed the help of my mother though.

Luckily for me; my mother was already awake sitting at the breakfast bar when I went downstairs. All I had to do was convince her to allow me access to my funds that they kept aside for me. My family weren't shy when it came to money, so it wouldn't be too much of a problem - as long as I wasn't blowing tons of money on drugs or hookers. I also needed to somewhat coax my mother into spending time with Ella without making it too obvious as to why, so I made some hints of: why don't you have a girly night in tonight with the fellow moms? It worked; she ended up texting the rest of them. If I've learnt anything from growing up is that my mother and my friends mothers enjoyed a night of drinking wine from time to time.

My first part of the plan was complete. Success.

The next steps of the plan was to make sure that Emily and Hanna weren't busy today doing anything. So I silently walked around my room making sure not to wake up a sleeping Aria; grabbing my phone, car keys and laptop then made my way out of the house to my car.

I drove to the Brew to pick up two coffees - I needed them to tame the angry beasts that I was about to wake up. Firstly, I made my way to Emily's house which was the furthest away. Pam answered the door and was shocked to see me here so early, so I told her my plan of potentially stealing Emily for tonight and tomorrow, also making sure to reassure her that I had my mother's blessing for it, too. Even though Pam was quite off with the idea at first, she soon came round when she spoke to my mother who had promised her that we would be fine.

I ran up to Emily's room and sat on the edge of the bed; Emily was the easiest out of the two to wake up, so this shouldn't be too much of a problem.

"Emily Catherine Fields!" I shouted whilst shaking her leg. There were a few groans and grunts as she slowly processed what was going on, but she soon soothed when she saw the coffee in my hand. I told her about my master plan - careful not to slip on Aria's situation - I didn't want to be the messenger; that was up to her if she wanted to tell people. Emily was game for the big plan and decided to help me out with a few things, too. I thanked her and left her house to go wake up Hanna.

When I arrived at the Marin's household; I explained the situation to Ashley, who was completely fine with me potentially stealing her daughter. I approached Hanna's bedroom door way and peaked inside to see Hanna snoring away, mouth wide open. I wish I had brought my phone in from the car to take a picture of the sleeping beauty who had drool on her face but I didn't - _gutted, I could of used this for when she annoyed me next_. I really had to think about this next step carefully - taking notice of all the escape routes and thinking about what can shield me for when Hanna wakes up. I chose to leave the coffee on the stand beside the bed then quickly shook her body a few times and then made a run for the door way - just in case.

"Spencer, what the actual fuck?" Hanna growled, eyes glaring at me.

"Morning, sleeping beauty. There's coffee on your table." I replied, pointing towards the coffee. Hanna's eyes softened as she leaned over to grab the coffee, but groaned when she saw the time on the clock.

"Not that I don't mind seeing you, but why are you here so early?" she asked, sitting up in her bed to drink the coffee.

"Well, if you're not too busy today or tomorrow.. I've kind of organised something." I replied.

I spent the next half hour sat with Hanna discussing everything that was planned already, what Emily was currently up to and asked if she would want to come along too; judging by the excitement on her face or the fact she completely pulled me in for a bear hug - I'll be taking the answer as a yes.

The spontaneous plan only needed one more thing now: Aria.

Just one more trip to the Brew to grab two more coffees and some bagels then back home to wake up Aria; after all she did have a busy day ahead of her that she doesn't know about yet. I made my way back home to find out that Aria was already awake sitting in my kitchen talking to my mother. She looked so adorable with the messy hair from sleeping and the fact she still had my hoodie hugging around her. She glanced over to me as I walked through to the kitchen area, her face instantly lit up with a smile. And I'm now swooning in to the counter, watching her with complete admiration.

"Hey" she said sleepily with the smile still lingering on her face.

You would think I would of been used to the heart pounding in my chest but I wasn't - I'm pretty sure it was unhealthy to beat so furiously.

 _Aria Montgomery, you're going to give me a heart attack at this rate._

"Hi, I brought coffee and bagels" Attempting to speak out confidently, but failed as I stammered. I held up the items in my hand like an idiot and blushed. Smooth, Spencer, smooth.

"Thank you" she replied as I passed over the coffee and food.

"No problem. I, uh, made us plans for this weekend" I spoke out nervously.

"Oh yeah? What are we doing?" she responded back with eyes curiously looking at me.

"Cape May? I mean, I've got Emily and Hanna on board, too."

"Spence, what about my mom? I can't just-" she began to reply, but my mother spoke up and interjected.

"Your mother and I have made plans for tonight" My mother spoke. Aria's now looking at me, shocked.

"So, Cape May?" I asked again with a confident smirk on my face.

"Road trip!" she squealed in response, jumping from the kitchen seat to hug me.

I dropped Aria home to pack things for the spontaneous trip to New Jersey, it wasn't really that far away from Rosewood - just over 2 hours in a car journey. I had made plans for everyone to be ready for 12 o clock so we could get there to enjoy some of the warm weather. I had left my laptop with Emily to book some kind of accommodation for tonight as I went around to wake up and share the plan with the other two girls; she also promised me that she would make a decent playlist for the car journey ahead.

I parked the car outside of Aria's house and dropped her a text to say that I'm waiting outside. She came out of the front door with her mother behind her and I observed Ella briefly; the prior events had really took it's toll on her, she looked so different since I last saw her a year ago. She smiled briefly but weakly at me as Aria approached the car and I gave a quick wave in return - a part of me wanting to run up to her to give her a hug but I'm pretty sure Ella would find it strange if I randomly did that. I hated seeing people struggling with tough times, especially people who meant something to me.

After Aria put her bags in the boot of the car and giving her mother a hug goodbye; she climbed into the passenger seat and we were ready to go collect the other two girls. Hanna was outside already in her beach wear when we arrived with sitting sun glasses sitting on top of her head - she honestly looked like she was about to do a magazine shoot for summer range clothing. Emily took the longest to come out of the house after Pam kept her in longer - contemplating if travelling to Cape May was a safe thing to do.

"She's too over protective sometimes" Emily grumbled as she explained the story to us.

"You know, I'll happily trade places with you, Em. My parents don't bother half the time." I replied.

"Yeah but Spence, your parents have paid for the weekend at the beach!" Hanna said, cheerily.

Well she had a valid point there. I owe my parents big time for allowing this to happen - especially with it being so short notice.

The car journey went pretty smoothly; even with Hanna and Emily fighting in the back of my Toyota to which songs should be playing in the car - Hanna would always win dominance over the Spotify playlist - although I'm sure Emily just gave in to have the easy life. So most of the ride to Cape May consisted of listening to Beyonce songs with Hanna being the special guest to her own tribute band. Poor Emily.

Some times my eyes would wonder as we came to a halt in traffic and would look over to Aria who would be consumed by the scenery around us. It was magical watching her get lost in the world around us - even though I've been down this road so many times - it felt like I was seeing the trees on the side of the road for the first time and feeling completely in awe at the sight.

And that's what she did to me - she opened up my eyes to a world that already existed around me but made it seem more alive and beautiful. I felt more alive. The moment she stepped into my life she had changed it for the better.

We pulled up to the main strip of Cape May and drove to the hotel that Emily had booked us in for the night; it was just basic accommodation with a television mounted against the wall and two queen beds situated in the middle of the room and a window at the far end of the room that overlooked the ocean. The view was absolutely beautiful - looking like the kind of picture that would be put up on someones wall as decoration.

Hanna called dibs on sharing the bed with Emily and referred to sleeping in bed with me as a " _bony skeleton who likes to stick out her elbows during the night_ " - thank you Hanna for the charming compliment but I didn't mind - I was secretly happy about the fact that I had another night of sharing a bed with Aria. The other two girls didn't seem to mind either; no one made a fuss out of the sleeping arrangements.

We all got ready - well apart from Hanna - to go hit the beach for the rest of the afternoon and work on a tan; Hanna had been ready for this moment since we had left for the journey. Hanna had spent most of the afternoon on the sun lounger with a cold drink in her hand whilst Aria, Emily and I had a dip in the sea - which our bodies had a shock when we first lunged in due to the cold water - but we were soon throwing each other into the water. We broke the late afternoon up by going into the town to find food to settle us over for the evening - all of us opting for burgers and fries.

By 7:30 on the evening, the light blue sky had transformed into a mixture of pinks and oranges; with the sun that sat in the distance of the sea had begun slowly sinking towards the water. I'm slowly walking behind the rest of the group who have ran towards the edge of the sand that just meets the sea to watch the sunset and even though it's a beautiful sight; my eyes are fixated on the smaller brunette as she gazes towards the distance - my mind taking pictures so I could have this memory kept stored forever.

I ran towards the sea to catch the last final moments of the sunset, standing next to Aria, who's still watching the sunset with the sweetest smile on her face. In this moment it felt like there was only the two of us and this beautiful sight in front of us. Just us looking out at the world.

"Isn't it beautiful, S?" she speaks out softly, her eyes never leaving the sight of the sun as it disappears into the sea. But there was something more captivating to me than the sunset in front us; my eyes fell down to the face of smaller brunette beside me and I whisper in response:

" _It really is_ "


	6. Day dreams of you

**A short chapter because I'm baby sitting and also don't feel well. So probably won't be updating this for the next few days.**

* * *

Cape May had so far been more perfect than I ever imagined.

I wanted this trip to be for Aria; a hope of trying to cheer her up but I'm pretty sure each of us benefited from this - me included. Each one of us had a smile on our faces as we enjoyed sharing memories from our lives and reminisced on the day we had all met - Alison had wanted us all to meet each other and we were thankful ever since. We spoke about the things that Alison use to do when we lived here and what she would be like now. My eyes glanced over to the swimmer who is now looking away, her facial expression looking sad. I once knew how it felt when Aria had moved to another country; the missing and pining became unbearable some times. I wish I could bring back Alison just for Emily's sake - so she could once again feel complete by having her blonde side kick by her side again.

By 12 at night there were light snoring sounds coming from Hanna and Emily's bed, they had not long passed out - I think when I had woken them up early prior that morning had taken it's toll on them. I wasn't ready to let the tiredness defeat me yet; I wanted more time awake to cherish the mini vacation and judging by Aria's request of wanting to take a stroll on the beach; she wasn't ready to sleep either.

We were both took by surprise as we stepped out of the hotel heat in to the cold temperature of the outside, neither one of us thinking logically about grabbing some kind of warmer clothing before we left but we didn't go back, we just let our feet march us forward and sink into the sand. There was a peaceful atmosphere out here tonight; there were no other person out in sight and the waves were just pressing against the sand ever so gently with the wind whirling softly in the air. Aria found a spot where a previous bonfire had been lit on the beach; she sat down on the man made seats and watched the remainder of the fire cackle out. The fire itself wasn't enough to keep us warm though - I could hear the shivers coming from the smaller girl and I decided to shuffle closer to provide some of my warmth to her which she used to her advantage as she linked her arm in between mine. This would of been the most perfect romantic setting but the sad reality of truth was far from it; just two friends who wanted to avoid sleeping a little longer.

"You know I've really missed you" I spoke out, breaking the silence between us, Aria's gaze that had once been on the fire in front of us was now upon me.

"I've missed you, too, S. But where did that come from?" she replies, a tug of a smile forming.

"I've just been thinking about how bad I feel for Emily having to deal without Alison around. Then I reflected on what it was like not having you here. And it was hard, Ar, so fucking hard. Next time your family decide to go to another country make sure you take me with you." I let out, finally admitting how I truly felt - well not all of it, obviously.

"Got it, S. But I'm not going any where, well a part from college in the next few years - which by the way, I'll let you know about so you can apply too" she replied playfully with a smirk on her face.

"Make sure it's an excellent school though that my parents can approve of" I replied back with a wink. She let out a slight giggle in response. And I'm now swooning internally on the spot. I wish I could have more confidence to admit how I truly felt for her - this would of been the perfect setting to do it in but I couldn't do it. I wouldn't want to ruin such a wonderful friendship for the sake of me opening up that way.

* * *

Even though the first week at home hadn't been the greatest, this weekend however was everything that I didn't know I needed. I got some comfort knowing that my mother was spending time with friends instead of sitting at home with a broken heart and I got to spend the weekend with the three people that I've missed most. I was so thankful for Spencer for going out of her way to make this weekend happen; I would have to find an impressive way to say thank you to her.

Everything may of changed this last year; some of them being absolutely the worst of changes but some - some were interesting to say the least. Being completely oblivious was honestly one of my weak points but these past few days I was getting a different sort of impression from Spencer - she was still my best friend, but do best friends get close as much as we do? I admit deep down that the night I had arrived at her house and we stayed cuddled in to each other; I may of felt more at home than I had for a long while. Then the morning after; I may of felt a bit disappointed when I woke up to find the arms that sheltered me throughout the night were no longer wrapped around me and Spencer was no where to be seen.

And last night where we stood watching the sunset; I wanted nothing more than for her to close the space between us so we could of been connected to watch the beautiful sight in front of us. But that closeness that I had longed for actually happened when we were sat watching the bonfire come to an end but that wasn't the end of our night though - we found comfort between the sheets once more as I turned my back to her and her arms found a place around my body as she closed the gap between us and held me tightly as she drifted off to sleep.

And now. Now my eyes kept flickering over to the girl beside me who's just doing nothing but eat the breakfast she ordered us all. But I can't stop my eyes from tracing up to her face, watching in amazement at how beautiful this human being is. How can someone make the most simplest of tasks look so beautiful? She pushed aside the bowl to the night stand beside her and stood up from the bed to let out a stretch; her t-shirt also pulling up as her body fixed up straight. My eyes now wandering to the skin that had been exposed - I'm strumming my teeth along my bottom lip..

 _Holy fuck. What the fuck am I doing?_

 _Am I seriously checking out my best friend?_

I let out a groan in response, startling the other girls inside of the room who are now looking at me concerned.

"I'm just thinking about how school is starting again next week" I replied. _Nice work, Aria. Pat yourself on the back for that._

"I can't wait for you to come back to school, Ar." Spencer replies back, with the biggest grin on her face. I reply back with a smile and then awkwardly lower my eyes to my breakfast, hiding the fact that my cheeks are now burnt up from blushing. Hanna and Emily had diverted the conversation and began talking about how great it's going to be with us all sitting together for lunch again.

 _Holy. Fuck. I am so screwed._

With everything being so complicated in my life; there was her - the only thing that wasn't chaotic. The only thing in my life that actually felt stable was becoming a cluster fuck of thoughts inside my head. I can't believe I just checked out my best friend - the girl who's done nothing but be sweet. The girl who's been my saviour from the chaotic mess around me.

Even though a part of me knew this was so wrong and dangerous - another part of my mind was fighting to think about all the possibilities of Spencer that I've never seen. My day dream had taken full control - the reality began to become a blurry vision and now all my eyes can see is Spencer..

The thoughts of kissing her had taken over my mind completely.

 _Shit, what was I going to do?_


	7. Jealous

**This is going to be both POV's. Had this idea in my head when I was ill, so finally put it together.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **Jealous - Labrinth**

* * *

The last few days had been surreal.

We had arrived back from our adventure to Cape May - which I tried to make a plan of staying there instead of returning back home but Hanna had insisted she would pick up my dwarf like self and carry me to the car if I don't leave the hotel room. I wasn't ready in that moment to go face the reality at home; Cape May had sheltered the emotions and thoughts for the weekend, finally feeling free of the sadness and overcast of dark clouds.

I had returned back though with nerves that laid in the pit of my stomach and braced myself for the storm ahead but the reality that I returned to wasn't quite what I was expecting. I had come back home to my mother actually smiling. A genuine smile. She looked so happy. Turns out I hadn't been the only one who needed some time to their selves as the wine fueled night between our mothers had done the world some good.

Mike had returned home that Sunday evening too, he had seemed a lot more happier since the last time we saw him. He had unpacked his things into his old bedroom and then spent the remainder of the Sunday evening watching old school movies with us in the living room. Everything felt like it was falling back in to place; the old feelings of sadness that had felt like an overcast in the house had been replaced with familiar atmosphere of a family unit. Just a shame that my dad hadn't been there to share the evening with us; even though things were going back to normal, it was still too early for anything like that to happen.

The day where I had to start school again finally approached.

Even though I had been mentally prepping myself for this day now for the last few days, with the help of Hanna giving me detailed insights of what has been happening at school - especially when the topic of importance was: who was hooking up with who and the "hottest teacher that Rosewood has ever seen." Obviously, I felt more settled after that conversation. God, I love this girl. The world needs more people like Hanna.

About a year ago I had been leaving the school grounds and was off to start my new adventure in a foreign land, today I was entering the school doors like I hadn't even left at all but everything felt so different. The beaten down lockers still stood lurched against the walls, the old tiled floor still graced the hall ways and there were familiar faces in groups chatting away, but I still felt like a new kid.

After having a welcome back conversation with the principle and him handing my timetable for my classes, he ushered me out so I could be on time for my first class, there had been no need to show me around the school - I knew the hallways of this place like the back of my hand. Luckily for me, I had English for my first class of the day and even better - I had all three of my friends in there, too.

My stomach grumbled with a mixture of nerves and hunger - reminding myself that I had previously skipped breakfast due to the loss of appetite that morning because of anxiety trumpeting victory. I really wish I could go somewhere quick to settle the uproar in my stomach but I didn't have enough time. I wanted to get to class before most of the other students got there - the last thing I wanted was to enter a room full of people. My heart fluttered in my chest as I took a step into the class room and my eyes fell upon Spencer, who was stood at the back of the room talking to Emily. Emily waved me over, stopping Spencer in her tracks and the taller girl now watching me with a smile on her face. The previous feelings of nerves and hunger now replaced with sudden eruption of butterflies. Fuck.

Surely it should be illegal to feel so many things at once? I can't cope.

"Hey, Aria. You're just in time for the story of how Germany had been founded" Emily spoke, each word laced with sarcasm which Spencer shot her a glare in return.

"Aw, what? And class is about to start soon, too. We're going to miss out on a great story." I pouted my bottom lip at the lanky brunette. Emily began chuckling beside us both.

I couldn't help but jump on board with the teasing of Spencer, her reactions sometime were too priceless to miss. The glare that was once upon Emily had now been shot in my direction. Spencer's serious facial expression might intimidate most people but right now I couldn't help but find the lanky brunette anything but adorable.

"I need new friends" Spencer deadpanned before taking her spot at the front of the class. Some things will never change with this girl, she had plenty of opportunities to join us at the back of the class but Spencer's has always insisted that people perform better when sat at the front. At least one thing is for sure - if things ever did develop further with Spencer - the only thing I would have to be worried about is her serious relationship with Education. _Wow, slow down there thoughts, now is not the time to fantasize about a relationship with her._

The prior thoughts in my head where distracted by the shuffles of movements entering the room. Hanna waved as she walked in with Mona beside her, I was struck back with surprise at how different Mona had changed - the geeky attire had been swapped with a new found of confidence. The slow motion effect that gets used in films for when popular girls enter rooms would be a great effect to be used right now - especially with the turning of heads by the guys in the room.

"Feel weird to be back yet?" Emily asked, chuckling and I nodded in response.

It was weird to be back; if someone had told me a year ago that in a year's time I would be returning back in my old English class and one of my best mates had gone from being a shy girl into one of the school's equivalence of a Queen - I would of shook my head, amused. If someone had told me in a year's time that I'd be sitting here with a crush on one of my other best friend's, I would of told them "no way in hell that would ever happen."

But, oh boy.

It **was** happening.

I mean in reality - there was nothing really wrong with the situation. It was understandable to develop crushes on people who know you better than you know yourself, right? And take into consideration that Spencer is gorgeous, I had no chance. Also, study dates didn't seem too bad of an idea now either, maybe we could do a human biology study date and I could study her lips further - for scientific purposes, obviously. We could call this experiment: "How good is Spencer at kissing?" - with multiple make out sessions in order to conduct an answer.

My day dreams of kissing Spencer suddenly came to an end as the door of the classroom banged shut. The previous day dream was a distant memory, with reality finding a way to creep back up on me. A breath got caught in the back of my throat as I scanned the face of the boyish looking man in front of the class - replaying the memory of being pressed against him with my lips finding his.

And oh my fucking god. This cannot be happening.

"Sorry about being late, there was a lot of traffic on the way here" a sheepish smile spread across his face, he looked around the room and then his eyes met mine.

His mouth dropped and his stare never left.

My lungs have now forgotten how to function - I'm holding my breath like it was the last bit of air that existed.

And I'm pretty sure time had stopped for a brief moment.

I could feel eyes burning on me from the stares from the other students in the classroom, Ezra let out a cough and broke the trance between us both. He awkwardly scuffled to the board behind him and began to write. My eyes wanting to look anywhere but at the front of the class where he stood so they met with Spencer who is now staring at me with a frown.

 _Well, fuck. This is going to be one long year._

* * *

I've only played today over in my head for what has felt like the 50th time this morning. I pictured it all out - attending today's classes, handing in completed essays and spending time with my favorite people at lunch. Go to hockey practice after the school day and maybe have a movie night tonight if the others would want to. It was going to go smoothly.

And it was going that way, I met up with Emily before school had started and we grabbed a coffee from the Brew, then made our way to class. We both made plans the previous night to get there before Aria did so she felt more settled when she had arrived. When she finally showed up and resumed what felt like she had never left in the first place with the pair of them making fun of my facts about Germany. They both may be ass holes who I've just threatened to leave and find better friends - but I couldn't. Ever.

Everything is going to plan. Well aside from the fact that the teacher is now late again - surely time keeping was an actual thing to be desired if you have a job like this? Even Hanna and Mona made it on time and that's a rare trait of those two.

Mr Fitz finally arrived 240 seconds later which was quite impressive for him, really. His excuse of being late was a poor one; even most of the students didn't bother using that one when they arrived late especially with Rosewood being a small town. Him being late would normally annoy me more than it has but even his lack of punctuality wasn't going to dampen the mood today.

Aria was back. She was right here, sat back in the same spot where she use to sit like nothing has ever changed. _Well, aside from the fact I was a bit infatuated by her. A bit not even coming close to how I truly felt, but we will go with that for the time being._

His eyes glanced around the room during the apology, then he came to an abrupt stop with his eyes looking ahead. The whole room went quiet as we watched him stand there, looking life less. I turned in my seat to watch whatever was going on behind me to find Aria also looking like she's just seen a ghost.

 _What the fuck?_

I skimmed my mind through the last five minutes of memories trying to see if I missed something when he came into the room but my mind couldn't quite work out what was going on here. Aria hadn't said that she knew Mr Fitz since she arrived back, I'm pretty sure that would of came up in conversation. Not everyday you have informal relationships with a teacher outside of school.

And then it dawns on me as my mind recollects the thoughts of the other day when Aria turned up to my house, distressed.

 _"I went to a bar and ended up kissing some guy I didn't know"_

The words echo in my head; my mind filling up with visual images of Aria and Mr Fitz kissing. Jealously was one emotion that didn't sit well with me but I couldn't escape the thoughts - the lips that I've only ever longed to kiss have now been tainted with thoughts of him kissing them. He didn't deserve the luxury of having that moment of intimacy with her.

I rolled my eyes at how pathetic the voice sounded in my head like I had any claim over the girl? She wasn't mine.

She never would be.


	8. Gotta get you out of my system

Hey guys, sorry it was a bit late getting this out. I hope there isn't too many mistakes, feel free to call me out on them if so. This chapter includes both POV's.

Chapter dedicated to: Pvris - My house.

* * *

First day of school was going absolutely awful.

Trust me to get myself into a mess where I've previously made out with my teacher - I obviously didn't think he meant Rosewood school that he was teaching in, fuck. I feel so guilty especially for Ezra's sake, the poor guy looks absolutely petrified, probably imagining police sirens in his head. After class I had to reassure him that nothing bad will happen and whatever happened at the bar would never happen again; he looked disappointed by the words and I felt like my gut got punched in that moment. Nothing good would come of it if we carried on with our make out sessions - especially with his position now.

And there's not only that.

Spencer.

Ever since this morning she's been off with us all, she barely spoke at lunch and spent most of her time looking down at her food. We all made plans for tonight of spending time together and she seemed so disinterested. The other girls picked up on it and called her out on her odd behaviour but Spencer shrugged it off and had told them all she's fine. But I knew otherwise - she might fool the outside world with the walls built up, but I saw the vulnerable Spencer deep inside but she wouldn't speak to me here with all these people around so I would have to ambush her later on when we were alone.

They also tried to interrogate me about this morning's incident, which I knew was going to happen because Hanna is like a secret intelligent agent and she needs to know the scoop of what's happening. I assured them I would tell them later because let's be honest - talking about making out with a teacher in the middle of a school wasn't the greatest conversation with listening ears all over the place.

So we made plans for this evening, for each of them to come round my house for the evening whilst my mother had made plans for some quality time with Mike. That way whatever question they would end up asking - I'm sure Hanna is cracking up with curiosity - can be asked without the ears of no one else. I'm not even sure where to start with it all; how can I possibly explain my impulsive decisions of making out with him the other night? It wasn't like me at all. And how do I then explain every thing else what was going on, too? Every time I try to take a step forward to being happy, I take three steps back due to the mess that keeps piling up. And then there's Spencer, there was no way I could possibly own up to crush about my best friend. Not that I thought my friends would judge me any differently but the possibility of messing up my friendship was far too much to put at risk.

Hopefully I can manage to control my new found impulsive behaviour around her.

Hanna and Emily came round about an hour later with no sign of Spencer; which hit me straight to the gut. But I hid my disappointment in front of the other girls and pretended to go on as normal. We set up for the evening; putting all the snacks into bowls and made our way to my bedroom for an evening of films, it didn't take them long though to start firing questions in my direction.

"So, what was that about today then?" Hanna spoke up, her eyes are locked on to me. There was no possible way of getting out of this, even if we were on the verge of an impending Apocalypse Hanna would still be here wanting answers.

So I explained it all: the rocky stages of my family life, the moment I went to the bar and ended up meeting Ezra, the moment we contacted our lips together in the bathroom and how I drove to Spencer's not long after it happened, followed by the trip she planned. Obviously missing out the parts where I started crushing on her, because if this story doesn't sound like a train wreck already; adding on that part would make it that way further. Which lead me to explaining the awkwardness of this morning and the conversation between me and Ezra.

"Wait, so Spencer knew all this already?" Emily asked to which I nodded in reply.

"I can't believe it," Hanna spoke "is he a good kisser?"

"Han!" Emily gasped throwing a pillow at the blonde.

"Honestly, I'm not even going to reply back that." I protested, this conversation was awkward enough without spilling the insight information on the way Ezra kisses.

"I can't believe you kissed the hot English teacher, I'm so proud of you, Ar." Hanna smiled.

"Of course you are" Emily deadpanned, but that didn't stop Hanna's smile.

"Okay, okay. Let's not talk about this any more. What are we watching?" I asked, wanting more than anything for this conversation to end. To my delight, the pair rolled over to the dvd collection to fight over what we would watch for the evening. Although that conversation went well and right now I couldn't be any more thankful for having these two as my best friends; my nerves were still there about Spencer, who didn't turn up and no one so far has had any messages from her. I had no idea what I was going to do.

Should I tell her about how I feel? Probably not. She's my best friend and I don't need that to be awkward, too.

But what was going on with her? Why is she avoiding us?

I picked up my phone, pondering whether to send her a message or not, but I did so any way. The curiosity was going to get the better of me.

* * *

 _Buzzzzz. Buzzzzzzzz._

The phone vibrated against the desk, I glanced over from my laptop and clicked the screen open and saw Aria's name glow up on the screen.

 **Aria: Where are you? Are you coming over tonight?**

 **Aria: [image] look, these two are arguing already over films. I need back up.**

The image contained Emily and Hanna sat on the floor with films scattered all over the floor, I could imagine the scene from the picture, both of them bickering like usual over which film to watch and knowing Emily; she would give in to defeat eventually. As much as I wanted to be there - I couldn't. Not right now, I needed to escape from being near Aria; my head was clouded by destructive thoughts and jealously.

Destructive thoughts wanting to take that leap and confront this mess.

Jealously providing lingering thoughts of Mr Fitz and Aria.

Fuck. It hurts.

Why does it hurt so bad? It's not like we're together. Hell, it was no where near being like that. She was my best friend and that's all it will ever be.

I knew one thing for certain, I needed to speak about this to someone, any one. I needed advice, guidance or just some one to keep me from going insane. Normally that would be Aria who I could turn to, that girl knew how to keep me level headed. But, I can't turn to her, especially when it has something to do with her. Fucking hell.

Out of all the people in the world this could happen to, it had to be her. Why couldn't my heart pick some random girl that didn't have such an important role in my life? Fuck you, heart. Fuck you.

There was only two other people who I could turn about this, who wouldn't judge me for it. Emily or Hanna. Emily would be the better option right now, considering Hanna would ask me a million questions that even I don't know the answer to right now. Times like this I wish I could turn to my family. And that was a whole different ball game; what would my family say? A part of me thinks they would be okay with their daughter coming out as gay, but the nerves were trying to tell me differently. Now is not the time, brain. Positive thoughts only.

I picked up the phone, opening up the message and shooting Aria a reply, she deserved that a least. A part of me feels guilty for not turning up tonight, but it's better for both of us if I didn't. Aria didn't need this in her life right now, she needed stability. And I'm far from that.

 **Me: Sorry, I'm working on some essays tonight. Don't let them kill each other.**

Well, it definitely wasn't a lie. I was currently trying to process calculus right now whether or not there was actually solid movement on the laptop screen was another story. I've spent an hour trying to decipher one question, normally it would be done right now but my mind has alternate thoughts.

 **Aria: That's a shame, don't study too hard. :)**

There's a probability of that not having tonight. I scrolled though the list to find Emily's name and typed out a message to her, too.

 **Me: Hey, Em. Please don't let the other girls know I've texted you, but can we meet after you've finished film night?**

 _Buzzzzzzz._

 **Emily: I'll message you, want me to pop by yours on the way home?**

 **Me: That's fine, Em. Thank you.**

Placing the phone back on the desk, it was now time to prepare myself for the evening. Calculus could wait, it's not like I can't afford to catch up at this rate. It was time to do some research on another topic: how to come out the closet. Do people normally type on google for this kind of thing? Normally, I do research on things that I'm not sure of, so this was no different but I can't help but feel lame even typing into the search bar about it. Maybe write down a speech on what I was going to say to Emily? I could do that instead. I could re-hearse the words till I get it right.

Hi, Emily. I'm gay. 

I'm gay and I have a crush on some-

No. I can't mention Aria, that definitely doesn't need to be aired right now. It was nerve wrecking coming out as gay as it was, adding Aria into the mix would make it even more complicated to admit to.


End file.
